Often times, people decide NOT to go to therapy because it seems scary. They don’t know what to expect or what they will talk about or if they will even like their therapist. And all of these are valid points! Going to therapy for the first time is anxiety provoking. You are meeting a total stranger to tell them what you have been struggling with in life. That’s not an easy thing to do! So this blog post is for you. Hopefully after reading this you will feel a little bit better about attending your first therapy session.
**Disclaimer: Every therapist is different because we are all different people and have different styles. However, the first session should roughly be consistent across therapist’s in regards to things the therapist has to go over.**
Legal & Ethical Stuff
Before you, as the client, get to talk about what you want to talk about, the therapist should go over a few things that they legally and ethically HAVE to go over. Most of what they go over will have already been in forms you signed before the appointment but if a therapist is doing their due diligence, they will verbally go over them with you.
- They have to disclose to you their title. It’s a process to become a Licensed therapist so some therapists are either an intern, an associate, or they are fully Licensed. BUT, it is therapist’s job to disclose to you their title and what that means.
- They will go over the therapy process with you, what their style is, and the length of sessions.
- They will go over confidentiality and mandated reporting.
- They will reiterate whether or not you are using insurance or paying out of pocket and what your financial obligation will be that you discussed before setting up the initial session.
- They will go over their cancellation and no-show policy.
Background Gathering
After the therapist goes over their legal and ethical requirements, they will jump right in to gathering some background information from you. The therapist’s job in the first session is to gather as much information from you as you are willing to share about your life thus far. Here are some questions you can anticipate them asking:
- What you are coming to therapy for.
- Whether you have had therapy in the past and if you had, what that experience was like.
- If you are on any medications or supplements.
- Your relationship status currently and any history on past relationships and what those were like.
- If you have any kids.
- If you have any siblings.
- What your parents/caregivers were like growing up.
- What your current support system looks like.
- What your highest level of education is.
- If you are currently or have a history of any substance or alcohol use.
- And more…
These are just a few examples of questions a therapist might ask. As you can tell by the examples, the therapist is really trying to get a sense of who you are and what you have been through. If this is your first time going to therapy, there is one thing I want you to take away and that is that you don’t have to answer any questions you are uncomfortable with or aren’t ready to answer. You simply tell your therapist you aren’t ready or are uncomfortable. Your therapist should respect this and make their own personal note to come back to that question at another session.
Deciding if it’s a Good Fit
Another not so obvious factor of the first session is for both the therapist and you to decide if this is going to be a good fit or not. Neither the therapist nor you are going to be able to determine if it’s a good fit until you meet and have a session. But just as the therapist is determining if you will be a good fit and they can help you, it is your job as a client to also determine if that therapist is going to be a good fit. There isn’t a definitive way to determine if a therapist is going to be a good fit or not but you can get an idea based off of how comfortable you feel telling them things and if you like their style and approach to therapy. This can be hard to decide in the first session because both the therapist and you are still getting to know each other. But just be mindful about how you are feeling in the session. If you feel like the therapist isn’t really listening to you even after the second or third session, find a different therapist. Studies show that the top reason client’s get better in therapy is due to the strength of the therapeutic relationship.
Treatment
Towards the end of the session, if the therapist feels like you will be a good fit and they feel like they could help you, they might take this time to give you a brief over view of what they might be thinking as far as treatment planning goes of what they feel would be the most beneficial for you. Not every therapist does this but I wanted to include it in here because it is a possibility.
Time
Another thing to understand is that time either feels like it’s going really slow or it flys by. Sometimes your first session can feel like a blur and that’s normal. It’s normal to feel anxious going into therapy. It’s even normal to continue to be anxious in the first session because you are going to be talking about yourself and your problems and a lot of times that feels weird to people.
Therapy is here to help you. Yes, there is still some stigma about seeking therapy. But it is available to you in order to help you heal from whatever it is you need healing from. There are so many ways to access therapy now. You can do it in person, online, on the phone, or texting. I hope that after reading this you feel a little less anxious and a little more prepared going into your first therapy session.
The two things I want you to remember:
- If a therapist doesn’t feel like a good fit, go find another therapist. Don’t stop therapy all together. You decided to start therapy for a reason, just find a therapist you mesh well with and continue.
- You don’t have to answer any questions you aren’t ready to disclose to the therapist yet.